What's so great about anal pleasure?
Believe it or not, a lot of people are fascinated by their own (and other people’s) buttholes and in this article I’ll share with you some simple tips if you want to start exploring with anal sex toys. The anus is an area of the body that unites us all, we all have one! It’s also an area of the body that carries a disproportionate amount of complex emotions: shame, disgust, excitement, frustration, fear, pleasure and more. Where there are intense suppressed emotions in the body there is generally a lot of potential for pleasure, and unlocking of energy. Including your anus in your sex life can be very liberating and relaxing.
On a physiological level, it is well documented that the type of nerve cells found in the tip of the penis and the clitoris are not isolated to those areas: the outside of your anus, and the perineum area, have as much potential for pleasure as your clit or your cock. If you include internal touch (or stimulation with anal sex toys) you have the added benefits of:
- prostate stimulation (for men)
- stimulation of the perineal sponge that lies between the rectum and the vagina (for women)
- connecting to the smooth involuntary muscle that lines the rectum, which has a relaxing and down-regulating effect on your whole nervous system (for everyone)
- signals sent along the pelvic nerve pathway (different to stimulating the clit and head of the penis)
‘Touch sensations from the genital region pass through three different nerves on their way to the spinal cord and, ultimately, the brain. The pudendal nerve is the most important for sexual sensation, carrying signals from the clitoris and the penis…Importantly, a single sensory nerve can carry information from several different parts of the crotch. In women, the pelvic nerve conveys touch signals from the labia minora, the vaginal walls, the anus, and the rectum. In men, the pudendal nerve carries information from the anus and the scrotum as well as the penis. Cross talk between adjacent genital and perigenital locations may help explain why stimulation of the anus, rectum and perineum can sometimes elicit strong sexual sensations.’
‘Touch: The science of the sense that makes us human‘ – David J Linden
Having another neural pathway available for stimulation, sensation and pleasure will allow you to experience deeper, more full-body orgasmic sensations. If you’re only stimulating the pudendal nerve pathway (i.e. the clit or the cock) the experience is limited. It’s like having an amazing multi-speaker sound system but only using one speaker.
Why would you want to use anal sex toys?
Anal sex toys can add a different palette of sensations to your masturbation experience compared to just using your hands. Many people also find it a bit tricky to stay physically relaxed and stimulate their own anus – unfortunately we aren’t all little yogi’s and some of us just don’t bend that way, or seemingly have long enough arms! There’s also the hygiene hurdle to get over: you might just prefer not to put your fingers in your butt (even with a glove on), and a toy makes it a bit less likely that you’ll end up with poop on your finger. Having said that, it’s always a nice idea to have a little anal douche if you’re going to play with your arse, check out this light-hearted set of instructions to learn how.
How to mindfully include anal toys during masturbation
I encourage you to think of anal sex toys as an addition to your practice of mindful masturbation, not the foundation of it. As a framework, I would always encourage you to begin your self-pleasure practice with touch, and gradually incorporate toys, then end your practice with loving, nourishing self-touch as well to help regulate your nervous system and arousal levels. If you want to explore mindful masturbation more extensively check out my 8 week online course.
If you’re going to include sex toys in your masturbation practice follow these simple guidelines:
- Be aware of your breath
- Allow yourself to make sound
- Use gentle, mindful movement so you’re not just passive in the body and moving a toy around. Allow your body to be active and engaged.
- Incorporate full body touch, don’t just focus on the small, localised sensation in the anus. Make sure there’s internal and full body awareness going on.
- Play with variety! Maybe try out two or three different toys within your practice session. Or if you’re only using one, get creative with how you use it – use your vibrator on your nipples or nose; lick and suck your dildo or butt plug before you put it in your anus (ideally not after); attach the dildo to the shower wall and push back onto it etc. Playfulness, variety and experimentation are the key!
- Always wash your sex toys after use. Most can be cleaned simply with warm water and soap then air dried. Occasionally if you want to give your sex toys a ‘deep clean’ you can submerge them in boiling water for a couple of minutes (but not if they are mechanised and/or operate on batteries, obviously).
What types of anal sex toys are there?
This list is by no means exhaustive and trying them all out is definitely not compulsory. Notice what reactions you have as you read about them – mentally, emotionally and physically. If you are drawn to some and not others, or repulsed by the very idea or notion of something just allow yourself to be curious. They can be a really fun, enhancing and pleasurable part of a varied and healthy sex life. Experimenting on your own during solo-sex can be a great way to build confidence and pleasure to take into partnered experiences. But ultimately you choose whether or not to include sex toys in your self-pleasure practice.
Anal toys come in lots of shapes and sizes. Butt plugs and anal dildos will always have a flared base or some kind of ‘handle’ to prevent it getting lost. Prostate stimulators are ergonomically designed to massage, rub against and put pressure on your prostate gland from inside your rectum and can greatly intensify your orgasmic experience. Anal beads are known for their ‘expand and relax’ effect and can be drawn out slowly for really yummy anal pleasure. Some anal toys vibrate, some don’t. Some are simply phallic shaped, others take on weirder and whackier forms – like tentacles, hands or I’ve even seen a boot-shaped anal toy!
What anal toys does Libby recommend?
If you’re male and haven’t explored with any anal toys before then something I recommend for most clients is the Aneros. I recommend this model and they also have other options. You will also find this at any good sex toy store in your town. This is a good one to begin with as it’s focussed on prostate stimulation rather than ’stretching’ and releasing of the anal sphincters and surrounding musculature.
If you’re female or male I think it’s a good idea to invest in a set of butt plugs that have at least three sizes: starting with this multi-pack of butt plugs will give you size options depending on how relaxed you feel!
If you want something a bit more phallic guys and girls, then my favourite brands for dildos are Doc Johnson and Realcocks. The Realcocks options below, in particular, have a lovely, realistic softness to them (I often find that silicone dildos feel too rigid and ‘pokey’). Both brands have lots of variety in terms of the length, girth and colouring options so feel free to check out the range and find something that suits you.
Top tips to get the most out of using anal sex toys
To make your anal play as pleasurable, fun and relaxing as possible I recommend these simple tips:
- Clean your arse before you play.
- Always use plenty of lube. I recommend a good silicon based lube for anal.
- Put a condom over your toys to keep them smelling fresh (but still always wash them after use).
- Butt plugs: sit on it, rock on it, walk around with it in, do your kegels with it.
- Prostate stimulators: warm up and build arousal before using them as then your prostate will be easier to feel/find.
- Anal beads: push down to get them out.
Enjoy your anal toy explorations and if you’re curious to learn more then stay tuned for my Complete Guide to Anal online course which will be launched at the end of 2023. If have any questions in the meantime just drop me an email on email@example.com!